Commitment Phobic Karaoke Guy– JCP Retreat 2021 Talent Show 2nd Place Winner

Chapter 11:  The Commitment-Phobic Karaoke Guy

This was probably my best date ever in the history of dates.  I Matched with a guy who LOVED karaoke, and I am a huge karaoke nerd.  “What I lack in substance, I make up for in style.”  Lynne Stone, Girls Just Want to Have Fun.  Seriously though, karaoke isn’t about who has the best voice, though not being tone deaf definitely helps.  People get up there, ready to belt out their favorite ballad that has a special meaning to them.  But if they aren’t the next American Idol, they should really choose a song the audience loves and can sing, too.  Then it doesn’t matter if you’re not Adele or Gaga because neither is the audience, but they’ll sing their loud, drunk, heads off and have a great time.

The Commitment-Phobic Karaoke Guy told me he was meeting some friends for karaoke on a Friday night and invited me to join in.  “The guys won’t be upset I’m crashing?”  He said no one would be upset; just come on.

When I walked into the place, I saw the guy at a table full of women, like a harem, and I was confused.  He walked up and introduced himself, and promptly informed me he was in therapy for his commitment issues.  Which, I suppose, is great to know right off the bat.  It saves a lot of time.  He introduced me to his friends who I’d assumed when we talked were “the guys” but they were very much “the girls.”  I sat down amongst the ladies, not sure if we were all on a big date, like on the Bachelor.  I mean, I know it’s tough to find good people out there nowadays, but I didn’t sign up to compete for one.  I guess he could have also been into that sister wife situation, which sounds nice in theory.  Sharing the kid and house duties and having your girlfriends around all the time would be fun, like a grown-up sorority.  But the sharing-the-guy part is not for me.

I made polite conversation with my sister wives, and I learned pretty quickly that this chick named Andrea was also attracted to bad boys with tattoos (a holdover from The One Who Broke My Heart), so we started sharing our crazy dating stories.  She was a widow, which sucks at any age, but losing your husband to cancer when you’re 30-something and still have two boys to raise alone really sucks.  I told her all about The Puking Guy because that had literally just happened.  And we laughed a lot.  After I sang my obligatory song (Sweet Caroline), we decided to head to another bar and laughed some more until last call.  We snapped a selfie and sent it to our mutual friend with the caption “Cheers to new friends!”

That was seven years ago, and we’re just the best of friends.  I got her to come work with me at my last job, and we both left that one for our current one where we office together.  She did meet the man of her dreams later that year and they’ve been happily married for five.  She’s my ride-or-die, and she really does ride motorcycles with her hubby, so that term really does fit.  But she’s someone I know will stand by me through whatever, whenever.  No ask is too big, or badly timed.  And I’ve definitely asked for help over the years.  Sometimes in the form of advice, a night out, a shoulder to cry on.  Sometimes she lends me her hubby for car repairs.  But she’s always there, and that’s the ride-or-die part.  She loves me without limitation or condition, and I know she always will.

Which is why this date was the best date of all the dates I’ve ever gone on.  It gave me the sister I never had.

We are both still friends with the Commitment Phobic Karaoke Guy, and over the last seven years, we’ve all spent a lot of time together.  Not as much recently because, as luck would have it, his Commitment Phobia wore off when he met the right girl.  He’s been dating a really fun girl for the last several years, and they go on all sorts of adventures together.  And he still sings plenty of karaoke.

The old adage that everything happens for a reason applies here.  If not for the Puking Guy ending our relationship a couple nights before, I wouldn’t have accepted the date with the Commitment Phobic Karaoke Guy, and I might never have met my sister.  And I don’t know what I’d have done all these years without her.  I’d have three fewer tattoos than I do today.   Yes, we’re those kinds of friends, with adorable matching tattoos.

So, what I learned from this date is that sometimes the relationships you need aren’t romantic ones at all.  Sometimes a date can change your life, but in a completely different way than you planned.  And sometimes even the most commitment phobic among us find their other half.

PODCAST: Recruiting Builder Executives with Erica Lockwood

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Retreat 2020–Team Fun Awards

The MacGyver Award – Tiffany Kenton
Award for being able to fix just about anything Is there someone in your office who’s always fixing things — printers, light fixtures, coffee machines, what have you — even though it’s not in their job description?

The Mission impossible Award  – Andrea Waldrop
Award for achieving the impossible a: A pair of dark sunglasses or a Bluetooth headset in an envelope marked “confidential” Why: There was that deadline that no one thought you’d be able to hit but this person came through like a rock star and made it possible.

Always in a meeting  – Veronica Ramirez
Award for an employee who is always in a meeting or on the phone

Office DJ – Erica Lockwood
Award for a person in your office who is always jamming to some music
employee who always makes clever puns and wordplay

Busy bee – Cecile Pichon
Award for the employee who doesn’t even have time for this award

The early bird  – Luke Hill
An award for an employee who thinks that being on time is too late

The Fashionista Award – Diana Scott

No matter what dress code your company has — or even if it doesn’t have one in the first place — there’s someone who takes their wardrobe game to the next level more often than not.

The Snack King– David Brown

Some people always make sure the rest of the team has something tasty to munch on.

Recognize this person’s culinary skills (or their commitment to buying treats) with the Snack King or Snack Queen Award.

The Loch Ness Award – Gustavo Zapata

Is someone on your team seemingly harder to track down than everyone else?

Well, no one’s found the Loch Ness monster yet, either.

The Chatty Cathy Award – Claire Spence

Someone on your team talks more than anyone else. You all know who that person is. Give them the Chatty Cathy Award.

 The Running with the Bulls Award – Katie Woodard

Every team has a risk-taker who keeps things interesting at the workplace by taking up special projects (and keeping managers on the edge of their chairs). The Running with the Bulls Award is a way to give kudos to such employees.

Galactic Gratitude – Hailey Holbert

Award for the team member that seems to feel thankful and always expresses it by their actions and their words. Awe!

Team Player Award – Angie Truitt

Some employees hold the team together, from their willingness to provide support to effective communication to recognizing the contributions of others. The team player award is intended to recognize and encourage collaboration.

Always on the Go – Brandi Hernandez They rack up the miles in their car and steps on their Fitbit. This award is for the employee that you rarely see at the office, aren’t 100% sure what they do but you know they go, go, go!


JCP’s Got Talent 2020: 3rd Place Winner

Learn how to fold a towel into a swan like a pro with Senior Partner Cecile Pichon, our 3rd Place JCP’s Got Talent show winner for 2020!